


So the Storm Finally Found Me

by sareli



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sareli/pseuds/sareli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk and Spock are stuck on a planet and Kirk has fallen ill. His time is running out, and all Spock can do is watch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so I didn't want to tag this as character death but there's definitely references to it so if you're not into that you might wanna turn back now

They have been on this planet for hours now. They’re sheltered in a cave, safe for the time being.

Kirk sits against one wall, Spock opposite him, watching him silently. Never has Spock wished for Leonard McCoy’s presence as he does now, but the doctor would at least have a fighting chance of restoring Kirk’s health. Spock can only sit by and watch his captain weaken; helpless.

They’ve both been silent for about an hour now. Kirk’s ailments have made him retreat into himself, and Spock has done the same, occupied with the substantial turmoil this whole situation has struck up within him. But that isn’t all of it.

It’s been hard, more so than usual, for them to talk to each other ever since the altercation with Khan. Something about Spock watching the captain die, and Kirk watching the Vulcan break down in turn, has made words useless and clumsy.

And now Spock is drowning in terrible memories, brought back ever more vividly by the sight of Kirk sitting blind and pale against the wall in front of him.

“Spock,” Kirk’s voice is feeble but jarring, and shakes Spock out of his introversion. “Listen, if I don’t-”

“Captain-”

“Spock, just shut up for once and listen,” Kirk takes a shuddering breath, it rattles in his chest in such a way that Spock briefly feels compelled to check his own respiration, even if it is terribly irrational. “If this gets too bad, or if I... I want you to go on without me.”

His eyes are wide open, and so, so blue. It shouldn’t be possible, but Spock is half-convinced that the blindness induced by the sickness has made their hue more intense.

When Spock found Kirk, he was immediately alerted to the fact that he couldn’t see. It was all in the way his eyes whirled around frantically as if scrabbling for purchase in the darkness they encountered. Those eyes were wide then too, and brimming with tears of frustration.

“Spock, is that you?” he’d asked.

“It’s me,” Spock had assured him.

“I can’t... Spock, it’s so _dark,_ I can’t... I can’t see you.”

His hands had reached out towards Spock then, and Spock hadn’t known what to do with them. So he brought them gently to his own face and let Kirk trace his fingers over his features, like nervous butterflies.

“Sir, I’m afraid I cannot do that.” Spock says now, making sure that his voice is firm and devoid of weakness.

Kirk looks affronted, and likely has some sort of retort ready on his tongue, but Spock doesn’t let him finish.

“Not alone. Not without you.”

If that registers at all with the captain, he doesn’t show it.

“Do I have to make it an order, Spock? Because I can.”

Kirk’s determined, commanding expression would have been more effective if it hadn’t been directed about a meter to Spock’s left. All it eventually does is highlight his predicament and inspire something inside of Spock to twist uncomfortably.

“No,” he says, almost involuntarily, which is frightening because he can feel his control losing its grasp on his emotions. But if being half-human has given him anything, it’s his belief in finishing what he’s begun, no matter the irrationality. “I can see two possible outcomes to this situation. I will live, or I will die, but I will do neither,” Spock looks hard, right into Kirk’s eyes, even though the man can’t look back, and can’t see the emotion he can’t seem to keep from surfacing. “Without you.”

“Jesus, you’re so...” Kirk trails off, seemingly unable to find the words he's looking for. “It would be great if you would-” he tries again, only to break off abruptly and succumb to a coughing fit.

“-If you would listen to me sometimes," he finishes, finally.

"Sir, I-"

"Not even all the time! Just when it’s, y'know, _really_ important, like right now. _God_ ," Kirk pushes the word out with a kind of force that makes it resemble a laugh, but it isn't one. It's angrier. Sadder.  "Why can’t you just do what I ask you to?”

His words seem to resound between them, though in actuality, there is no echo. 

Kirk’s face falls immediately as he realizes how harsh he sounds. 

“I know what it is to lose you, my friend,” Spock says quietly. “And I do not wish to experience that ever again.”

Silence falls in the cave again, and Spock starts to wonder if he has somehow said something inappropriate.

 _“...Spock,”_ Kirk exhales finally, in a way that makes him seem small. Spock can see tears welling in his eyes.

"Yes, Jim?"

_"Come here."_

It very visibly takes most of the captain’s remaining strength to reach out his arms, but he holds them out towards Spock anyway. He does not waver. Spock seems to be in no state to deny him, or maybe Spock just wants-selfishly- to take part in the comfort, because he finds himself yearning for those arms. Whatever the case may be, he can’t get to them fast enough.

His chin crashes ungracefully into Kirk’s shoulder and he ends up with his face buried in the crook of Kirk’s neck. His skin is hotter, much more so, than any human’s should be, an effect of this serious fever. Kirk shakes like a leaf.

Spock can feel the captain’s hands on his back, one between his shoulder blades, one at the small of his back. In a feeble attempt to reciprocate the gesture, Spock curls his arms under the captain’s, but can’t quite achieve that same effect.

It takes a surprisingly long time for Spock to realize that he is grieving.

It takes him even longer to realize that the captain has stopped shaking.

That same twisting sensation makes itself known again, only now it _hurts_ , and it draws physical tears from Spock’s eyes. He is no stranger to the sensation, he realizes, thinking of the warp core and thick glass and unseeing eyes.

Maybe that’s why it overwhelms him so easily.

Spock clutches the material of Kirk’s shirt tightly between his fingers.

 _Please, dear one,_ he thinks desperately, not bearing to lift his head and catch sight of the captain’s face. _Do not leave me here alone. Not again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be continued???? maybe I don't know don't hurt me


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lil bitty epilogue

Kirk is still against the white sheets. His eyes are closed, the muscles in his face relaxed, painting the image of peace across his features.

Spock stands a few meters from the bed, unsure of whether he should move closer, and getting the distinct impression he appears altogether out of place standing in the middle of the sickbay. McCoy tells him as much when he passes by.

“Well, go to him or don’t, but for God’s sake, don’t just stand there,” he mutters in passing.

This startles Spock into action, he takes a few steps and ends up right at the captain’s bedside.

Ten seconds pass, and then ten more. Twenty stretches into thirty, and then thirty-five.

_Thirty-six... thirty-seven... thirty-eight-_

It takes a great deal of Spock’s diminished resolve to quell the cry of relief that surfaces when blue eyes slide open and focus right on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look ok I was never gonna kill kirk but you didn't necessarily know that so... here


End file.
